Dear Black Women: With Healing Comes Accountability

This is going to be a little bit of a tough love session for black women (myself included) and If that is not what you want to read, I understand. However, I said what I said and while I love black women, there are some things that we need to answer for.

In recent years, specifically since the 2010’s, the image of black women and specifically phenotypic, dark-skinned black women is undergoing a subtle yet drastic change. We are receiving better promotion, more diverse promotion and more accurate representations of the everyday black woman in America.

We are receiving more beauty promotion (Miss America, Miss USA, and Miss Universe), we are no longer en masse relegated to the side-kick, or sassy friend in shows and we are being portrayed with more depth, layers, and as real people. I firmly believe that this shift in our promotion is almost solely due to the black women empowerment movements that have been cropping up in the mainstream, including this platform.

While I think that this shows what black women can achieve for ourselves and the strides we’ve taken, I think it also begs the question: Are we, or were we complacent in the denigration of our image? Honestly, I think that we were and still are.

This isn’t to say that black women, or people were the ones who came up with the negative associations with our image. We all know the story of white supremacy and the racialized tropes that came out of it as it concerns black women. However, I don’t think that’s the full story. With the rise of Hip Hop and Pimp/Hoe culture that came with it, in my opinion, that was the nail in the coffin for black women’s image.

I used to think this was a discussion left between black men and black women but now I believe this is a discussion black women need to have with each other, our mothers, aunties, sisters, friends, etc. Because quite frankly, we all consigned the raunchy lyrics, the calling us every name but our own, and the exploitative ways we were treated in the public eye (See Snoop Dogg putting somebody’s daughters in chains at an award show).

I used to think this was a discussion left between black men and black women but now I believe this is a discussion black women need to have with each other, our mothers, aunties, sisters, friends, etc. Because quite frankly, we all consigned the raunchy lyrics, the calling us every name but our own, and the exploitative ways we were treated in the public eye (See Snoop Dogg putting somebody’s daughters in chains at an award show).

2 Live Crew even went all the way to the supreme court just for the right to degrade the black women’s image and we defended it. Especially we, the educated, ivory tower black women who stated “but they ain’t talking about me”. But sis, they were and they are.

We sat back either knowingly, or unknowingly cosigning, while the image of the dark skinned black woman, the mother of the race became little more than a bitch, hoe, welfare queen, and baby mamma. Yet, we cry foul when the world views us in these terms. And yes, maybe we didn’t know and maybe our mothers didn’t know but now we know and once you know better, you do better.

Black women, we have to stop allowing our image to be continually disrespected when it should be exalted. We should silently, yet vehemently withdraw our support, financial and symbolic, from things, people, and entities that are working against us. We need to stop feigning shock and giving a safe space for those who disrespect us to share their side.

Although we are making strides in our representation, the massive support from black women for Snoop (who called a woman that could be his mother a dog faced bitch in support of a mexican woman who hasn’t even acknowledged the ‘support’) speaks volumes to our still self-sabotaging mentality.

Liv is a new blogger for DDS Magazine. She graduated University in 2018, with a degree in History & English Lit and in her free time is an avid creative writer, History & Fashion enthusiast, as well as a cat-mom to three kittens. When she is not creating, she works at a children's non-profit and enjoys spending her weekends doing Pilates, hiking, shopping and indulging in Sci-fi novels.