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  • Liv J

This Week in Blackistan: Stay out Black Women's Business

I know last time I said that would be the first and last installment of this series; but the nigatry that’s afoot this week brought it back from the graveyard. The topic this week? Y’all really and I mean really need to stay out of black women’s business and black women, especially dark-skinned black women, need to stop making themselves look dumb for black men's approval.

These stories are really starting to grate on my nerves. Not so much the fact that the black community has a lot to say about black women, especially dark-skinned black women’s love life, because everyone knows that this “community” would be even less without us. But that 1. It’s other black, predominantly dark-skinned women who are coming out hard against these women, and 2. We still, in this year of 2020, care about what these black men think.

*Disclaimer*: I can feel y’all now saying, “wELL yOuR’rE wRiTinG aBoUt iT!”

....Duh, it’s my job. I’m paid to care, y’all care for free. Furthermore, outside of this blog I am living my best care-free black girl life. I just want other black women to do the same.

This week, Meg Thee Stallion appeared on live cuddled up with white rapper G-Eazy and as you can guess, minds were lost. I know Meg isn’t a dark-skinned woman but in my opinion, what is happening to her is indicative of what happens when the black community realizes that nowadays, black women just aren’t going to be the designated survivor. These conversations about colorism, leveling up, going where we’re celebrated are no longer underground.

Women like Meg especially, are seen as only for black men because she is a "ratchet female rapper" (not my words), and if women like her are exploring her options, they may lose their spot. The next day she came out and made a statement that she and G-Eazy are not together. Whether they are, or aren’t, I personally wouldn’t have said anything; Or I would have kindly reminded them that their rent was due on the first.

If Meg wasn’t enough, the absolutely stunning Jodie Turner-Smith appeared on the red carpet, wearing her pregnancy gloriously, in a yellow gown and glistening skin; Of course, her hubby in tow. The uproar wasn’t about how she literally murdered everybody else on the carpet with that absolutely SICKENING look, it was again about her white husband. What disgusted me and continues to disgust me is the response from women who look like Jodie.

The black male response was typical and they have every right not to support her. But you women with the same beautiful rich skin, kinky hair, and rounded features have the most audacity to come for her. You also look stupid attempting to drag her for dating a white man, for the approval of a group of men that would literally drop-kick you for a non-black woman. And honestly, I think that some of y’all are a little mad that she can’t relate to the struggle mentality that some of you still, clearly have. I suggest you get therapy, figure out why you don’t think you deserve the best, and stop looking goofy.

Speaking of looking goofy for black male attention, comes a lesson on why we need to #burnthecape. A friend of mine sent me a twitter link to a video of two very dark-skinned, very pretty girls on one of those “ask public opinion” videos. The interviewer was a young black man who asked them if they would date a white guy. They proceeded to exclaim they would not, following with a list of why, including “They have cooties”. Now I will say that I thought the video itself was hilarious. However, I also understand the optics in that dark-skinned women always feel compelled to publicly praise black men, or in this case disparage another group for black men. Obviously black men really aren't publicly and virally disparaging other groups of women for us, quite the opposite. This once again relegates the dark-skinned woman’s image to mule status and makes us look desperate.

Okay y’all, I’m for real this time; Last one. I’m hoping that black women will one day learn that capes get us stuck in the proverbial jet engine of the game of life. And fellow black women, as Carlton Banks once said “I'm running the same race and jumping the same hurdles you are, so why are you tripping me up?”. Stay on code and stop tripping up other black women who are doing what’s best for them.

Liv is a new blogger for DDS Magazine. She graduated University in 2018, with a degree in History & English Lit and in her free time is an avid creative writer, History & Fashion enthusiast, as well as a cat-mom to three kittens. When she is not creating, she works at a children's non-profit and enjoys spending her weekends doing Pilates, hiking, shopping and indulging in Sci-fi novels.

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