Disappointed but Not Surprised: The DSBM Story

Terry Crews is exactly why I, and many other dark skinned black women no longer choose to defend the collective of black men. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

In 2018, or maybe 2017 Terry Crews came out and spoke about being sexually assaulted by a man in a man in a bathroom during a party. I remember during this time, Tumblr was still a big part of my life and as those who are familiar with it know, it’s one of the biggest social justice warrior platforms for alternative black folk. At the time I wasn’t on Twitter or IG (I was pretty lame) so Tumblr was my source of black social news.

I remember distinctly that when he came out with his story, black women brought out their Ironing boards and steam big time, myself included. This was before I was on my Edna Mode ish' but I heavily defended Terry and stuck up in general for men, specifically black men who were targeted by sexual abuse. Dark skinned women especially took to social media to defend him.

Flash forward to 2020, Gabrielle Union resigned from America’s got Talent the reboot, citing racial bias and sexism. Now it goes without saying that he should have either said nothing, or backed her up; that they are both survivors of sexual assault and he knows what it’s like to be dismissed, not beleived, and mocked. But what happened was both unsurprising and cliche, he of course, threw her under the bus.

I don’t necessarily think that it would have been a wise decision to put his job at risk and completely defend Gabby. Black men and people have not built up an infrastructure strong enough to be able for him to have a comparable job within the black community. So risking his livelihood would have been an unfair task because who’s gonna give him a job? Tyler Perry? However, he really could have just sat there and said nothing, like nothing at all. Of course if black women had the type of patriarchal protection that white, asian, and hispanic women do, both Gabby and Terry would probably land a job elsewhere.

This goes back to the general consensus of dark skinned women. We really don’t care whether or not you like us, find us desirable or not, a lot of us just want you to shut up about us. Gabby and other black women would have been just fine without the added bus throwing of Terry Crews.

It also makes Black men look weak and dysfunction and deserving of Loni Love’s criticism. Terry got on a white platform and threw his counterpart under the bus and actively praising another whte platform all in one foul swoop. And before anyone brings up Loni Love doing the same...Oh well.

If Black women, especially dark-skinned black women are left to defend themselves against criticism with no defense from our men, then black men deserve the same. Plus, I am pro dark-skinned black women so I won’t keep the same energy just like everyone else.

Liv is a new blogger for DDS Magazine. She graduated University in 2018, with a degree in History & English Lit and in her free time is an avid creative writer, History & Fashion enthusiast, as well as a cat-mom to three kittens. When she is not creating, she works at a children's non-profit and enjoys spending her weekends doing Pilates, hiking, shopping and indulging in Sci-fi novels.