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10 Ways to Look & Feel More Feminine as a Black Woman

Femininity is not only a look, but an energy, a feeling and a lifestyle. Many black women understand the resilient approach to femininity, but don’t realize the strength and power within the softer side. The following tips will help hone your more traditional, ladylike qualities to enrich your life in ways you’ve never imagined.

Please proceed with an open mind and a willingness to transform.


Be a Chameleon

It’s no secret that black women face unique challenges in the world that don’t give us the privilege of being vulnerable or carefree. It’s easy to get caught up in feminism, Black Lives Matter and all of the other forms of social justice that make your life feel more meaningful. You almost feel like an unproductive failure if you’re relaxing instead of fighting for a cause. But, what if I told you that you can do both? And often? Before going on a date, attending a cocktail party or enjoying good company, leave the politics at the door. Give yourself permission to live in the moment and retire the activism for a while. You can always pick it up again later.

Healthiness is Happiness

When was your last workout? What about your last doctors visit? Have you been eating your fruits and veggies? Staying healthy and knowing your health status makes you feel great, improves your peace of mind and helps boost your femininity. A balanced diet and an ideal body weight will make you feel more comfortable with expressing your soft side. Take care of your temple and it will take care of you.

Be Open to Receive

There’s nothing wrong with strong independence but it doesn’t minimize your self-sufficiency to receive. Don’t let a giving man intimidate you because they love vulnerability. Relish in being pampered for a while save the boss life for the workplace. Be coy and say yes to generosity.

Beautify & Freshen Up your Surroundings

There’s nothing like the site of fresh flowers or an elegant painting in a clean, fresh smelling room. Part of cultivating your femininity means cleaning and de-cluttering your physical space and filling it with things that make you feel good. 'Feng Shui' your home with colors, plants, figurines and furnishings that are womanly to the sight and warming to the heart.

Refining Speech & Listening More than you Speak

In ‘Turn Up’ culture it may be a bit strange to recommend that a black woman be quiet. But sometimes it pays to say nothing at all or lower your tone of voice in certain environments. People tend to listen and respond better when a confident, more reserved voice is speaking. Also remember to listen more than you speak, ask questions and allow others to do most of the talking. That way you can stop any potential diarrhea of the mouth and plan what you say accordingly. There’s nothing worse than talking too much to the wrong person and later regretting what you told them. There is great power in silence.

Be Lighthearted, Playful & Adventurous

I know what you’re thinking - It’s impossible to be lighthearted and playful in the skin of a black woman with the crazy world we live in. And sometimes that is very true. However, stress will kill you much faster than joy ever will. So why not be cheerful and untroubled for a spare? Meditate, abandon your worries, and then go rock climbing. Plan that trip to Jamaica. Go play barefoot in the rain. Smile more :-)


Soft, Simple Hair & Makeup

Simplicity with hair and makeup is the key to achieving a more feminine appearance. Remember, hair that is down or out looks the most graceful. Soft afros, twist outs, curls, waves or a simple side part press is the way to go. With makeup, light crease eye shadows, nude colored lips and soft blushes are delicate and inviting. Less is more.

Pamper & Groom Yourself

I know you get this suggestion often but how about you actually do it? Finally go get that spa treatment that you’ve always wanted, get your eyebrows done and your hair trimmed. Get that pore cleansing facial and Brazilian wax. The more you groom yourself, the more feminine you feel and it will radiate on the outside.


From dainty handbags, to high heels, and even decorative flats, accessorizing can really upgrade your feminine appearance. Try putting a nice flower in your hair or wearing a floral pattern scarf around your neck. Always keep your nails painted and keep gold and silver earrings that will pair with any outfit. To really glam it up, invest in expensive looking costume jewelry in various colors for your wardrobe. Accessorizing is one of the ultimate forms of girliness.

Dresses & Silk

Nothing says feminine like a beautiful, confident woman in a dress. Whether it’s long and flowy, tight and fitted or short and sexy, dresses scream femininity. Feminine fabrics like silk, satin and lace are also dainty and give a soft, elegant touch to any wardrobe. Invest in expensive lingerie and customized dresses to really thrive in your outward display of womanhood.

Remember, femininity is fluid so tailor and tweak the tips here to fit you individually. Become the best you and prosper in life by using ALL of your feminine power, not just a portion of it. Cheers to happy living ladies!

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